


Cliché Picnics and Selkies

by MissILikeTooManyFandoms



Series: Creampuff Week January 2015 [5]
Category: Carmilla (Web Series), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-16
Updated: 2015-01-16
Packaged: 2018-03-07 18:55:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3179474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissILikeTooManyFandoms/pseuds/MissILikeTooManyFandoms
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's finally Laura's turn to plan a date for her and Carmilla. It doesn't quite go as planned but does anything ever go to spec at Hogwarts?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cliché Picnics and Selkies

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Picnic. I thought why the hell not.

“A picnic by the lake, really, creampuff?” Carmilla and Laura were walking down the hill from the entrance to the castle, their fingers linked. A basket swung from the smaller girl’s free hand.

“I’m sorry, it’s not like there are a lot of great date-like locations on the grounds.”

“Where did you even find a basket like that? Or did you pack it with the sole intention of taking me on a date?” The seventh year Slytherin smirked, squeezing Laura’s fingers.

“Right because that’s what I do over the summer holiday, plan dates to take you on. I’m pretty sure that’s what you do. Stealing champagne and somehow managing to bribe Filch.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“LaFontaine told me you gave him some information on the prank a few of the Gryffindors were planning.”

“Listening to rumors over your own girlfriend, cupcake? And it’s impossible to bribe Filch.”

“He likes you.”

“That’s disgusting.” Laura rolled her eyes, bumping the vampire with her shoulder.

“You know that’s not what I meant. You guys actually are weirdly similar.”

“Wow. This is already the worst date ever. Comparing me to Filch? I think I might have to break up with you.” Carmilla made no move to draw away, keeping her finger’s laced with the Hufflepuff prefect.

“’But who would buy the cupcakes?’” They had reached the tree Laura had chosen nearly a week prior as “their” tree, the smaller girl mimicking her girlfriend as she set up their picnic, throwing a blanket down and unpacking her basket. Carmilla looked on, arms crossed as she leaned against the massive tree, the Black Lake lapping a few feet away.

“Very funny, cutie.” The vampire rolled her eyes with a smile, pushing off of the tree to settle down on the blanket next to Laura. “Where did you get all of this?” She had been expecting sandwiches and maybe some cookies but the Hufflepuff had managed to obtain a whole spread from mashed potatoes to desserts. “You’ve been interviewing House Elves again, haven’t you?” Laura blushed and shrugged, looking down as she scoops out the potatoes and passes the plate to her girlfriend.

“Living near the kitchens has its benefits.”

“I’ll say.” Carmilla had already wolfed down the plate of mashed potatoes and was reaching for the dark jar Laura had left in the basket. “And who says McGonagall doesn’t have a sense of humor.” She spins the jar to show Laura the label. “Bumble’s Bottled Blood, The Perfect Blend for the Growing Vampire. I wonder if it annoyed her that it says bottled and it’s in a jar.”

“The Headmistress buys your blood personally and all you can do is mock it.” Laura laughed anyway. “’Growing Vampire?’”

“Half vampires, sweetheart.” Carmilla jammed the metal straw Laura had packed (also a gift from the headmistress) into the jar and took a sip.

“What?”

“We can procreate, you know. With humans anyway.” She took another draw on her drink, smirking around the straw at the way Laura blushed. “Getting ideas there, cupcake? I hate to tell you this but we don’t exactly have the right equipment.”

“Shut up.” Laura threw a roll with a surprising amount of force, the baked good bouncing off of the vampire’s chest and into the Black Lake.

“Laura! I’m going to have to go down to the kitchens and tell the elves that their queen wasted a perfectly good roll that they slaved over and then they’ll never sneak you cookies ever again.” Carmilla laughed as Laura pushed her, upsetting a few of their containers. “Wow. Violent. What’d those cookies ever do to you?” The vampire snatched up one of the displaced treats, grinning as she eats. Laura squashed down the urge to pelt her girlfriend with more food. She was not really mad, though. It was so rare that Carmilla was in such a good mood and Laura was determined to enjoy it, even if that meant a few jokes at her expense.

She smiled as she dug into her pudding. Carmilla had already scarfed down a second helping of mashed potatoes and was reaching for a third, eyebrow arched. Laura, with a mouthful of pudding, waved her hand and nodded. The vampire grinned and abandoned her plate to eat the rest of the potatoes from the self-warming container. Carmilla loved the mashed potatoes, much to Laura’s endless amusement. They were the only food aside from practically any sweet that the vampire would eat.

“What?” Carmilla spoke around a huge bite of mashed potatoes, her cheeks full. The sight sent Laura into hysterics. It would appear that the countess’ manners had devolved in the last three hundred years. The thought only made the Hufflepuff laugh harder. Laura had been caught staring but she was too amused to care. The vampire’s confusion did little to help her calm down. “What? What is it? Is there something on my face? Did the Giant Squid finally grab someone?”

“That’s not funny!” Laura could barely get the words out. She was laughing too hard.

“Did someone hit you with a Cheering Charm when I wasn’t looking? Where are they? I’ll curse them for you.” The Slytherin already had their wand out, their eyes scanning the students milling around the lawn and lake. Laura managed to quell her mirth enough to speak up before the vampire managed to hex anyone.

“You’d have to curse yourself.” She blushed as she shoveled the last of her pudding into her mouth in an attempt to keep herself from saying anything else embarrassing.

“What?”

“And you call me oblivious. You’re cute.”

“I am not cute. I am a terrifying creature of the night.”

“Having probably the most cliché date ever. We’re having a picnic. And it’s the middle of the day.”

“I’m still not cute.”

“What’s wrong with cute? You tell me I’m cute all the time.”

“Because you are, cutie.”

“And so are you, _cutie_.”

“I’m drinking blood with our picnic.”

“Blood in a jar marketed to vampire parents. Through a straw.”

“McGonagall orchestrated all this, didn’t she?”

“Yes. Her gra nd scheme to make you the most adorable vampire in the whole school.”

“I didn’t have to deal with this nonsense at Durmstrang.”

“You went to Durmstrang?” Laura lowered her cookie.

“For a time, yes. They kicked me out.”

“For being adorable? I’m sure that’s against the rules there.”

“For murder. Even Durmstrang can only handle so many of their students killing one another. Then a few decades later, Maman shipped me to her alma mater.” Laura knew she should be more upset by her girlfriend’s confession than she was.

“ _You went to Beauxbatons?_ ”

“I actually preferred it. Prettier girls.” She winked. Laura could not decide between stuttering and blushing and being angry. “But of course Hogwarts has grown on me. Picnics and all.” Their fingers linked and rested on top of the basket.

They ate the rest of their meal in silence punctuated by giggles as they fed each other the endless desserts Laura had packed. After licking chocolate and cream from their fingers and draining another jar of Bumble’s bottled best, the couple settled against the tree they had claimed as theirs, Laura resting in Carmilla’s arms. The smaller girl was beginning to doze off with the surprisingly warm weight of her girlfriend’s arms around her middle when she heard a splash followed by high-pitched screeching, her eyes flying open as she jerked in surprise.

Two merpeople had appeared at the edge of the lake, looking between each other and Carmilla. Laura looked up and found the vampire nodding, a slight smirk on her face. To the Hufflepuff’s shock, her girlfriend responded as the merpeople stopped, mimicking their screeching. The trio carried on a conversation for quite sometime, the noise grating on Laura’s nerves but she was much more irritated by the merpeople’s behavior. Though she did not speak a word of Mermish, she knew that they were attempting to persuade her girlfriend to join them in the water by their constant eyelash fluttering and gestures. When the nearest of the two winked at Carmilla for the fourth time, Laura snapped and yanked the vampire’s head down, slamming their lips together while she was mid-sentence. Though surprised, Carmilla quickly relaxed into the kiss, allowing Laura to turn and straddle her. The Hufflepuff made sure to deepen the kiss and push her girlfriend back against the tree to get her point across. When they finally broke apart, she was pleased to note that the merpeople had vanished.

“Wow, cupcake.”

“Freaking mermaids.” Laura leaned down to press a more gentle kiss to the vampire’s lips, but Carmilla laughed in the middle of it.

“They were selkies, sweetheart and they hate vampires.”

“They were trying to get you into the water with them!”

“Yeah, so they could string me up in their village and take turns stoning me.”

“Oh.” Carmilla laughed again but leaned forward to kiss Laura softly.

“I certainly appreciated the save though. I was growing bored of mocking them.”

“Why’d they leave then?”

“They were probably disgusted by your show of affection.” Laura smacked her. “Hey! I wasn’t!” The vampire attempted to steal a kiss but was rebuffed. “Aw, Laura.” She ran her hand down the smaller girl’s arm, tangling their fingers together when she reached her hand. “I thought your date was pretty successful, selkies, clichés, and all.” Laura looked up from where she had been staring at her lap.

“Really?”

“Of course.”

“So I get to pick again next week?”

“Okay, let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”

“Carm, we cannot sneak up to the astronomy tower for every date.” They continued their argument as they packed up and headed back to the castle, the sun dipping low on the Black Lake.

“You love it, creampuff.”

“No, I love you. I like the stars.”

“You love the firewhiskey.”

“That might be true.”

“What’s that about firewhiskey, Miss Karnstein?” Headmistress McGonagall had appeared out of nowhere, as usual, while they were approaching the Great Hall.

“Oh, nothing, professor. Thanks for the blood.” Carmilla’s straw was hanging out of her mouth, her fangs fully visible. McGonagall eyes the two girls for a moment before giving a curt nod and vanishing into the Great Hall.

“I swear she smiled.”

“Right, sure, buttercup. The staff just adores me.”

“C’mon, you said you’d help me with my Astronomy homework.” Laura groaned at the way her girlfriend’s eyes lit up. “No. We don’t need the tower.” She took the Slytherin by the sleeve of her robes and dragged her off to the library.

They ended up sneaking into the tower anyway.


End file.
